Traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony For Modern Couples (Ultimate Guide)
Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony is not just a traditional custom but a cultural beauty that binds families and symbolizes respect and gratitude.
However, the wedding custom can be confusing, we’ve been through it as well.
If you are looking for a easy to understand complete guide to Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony, let’s guide you step by step to celebrate your wedding day with this beautiful custom.
What is a Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony?
The Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony, known as 敬茶 or “jing cha” in Chinese, is a time-honored tradition where the bride and groom express their gratitude and respect to their parents and elders by serving them tea.
This act symbolizes the couple’s deep appreciation for their upbringing and represents their formal entry into each other’s families.
Significance of Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
The roots of this tradition trace back to the Tang Dynasty, where tea, with its connotations of purity and loyalty, became a symbolic representation of love. By serving tea instead of other beverages, couples convey their devotion and faithfulness to each other.
During the ceremony, titles change as well. The couple addresses their partner’s parents as “mum and dad,” signifying their formal inclusion in each other’s families.
Who Needs to Attend the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony?
Traditionally, the tea ceremony starts in the morning of the wedding day at the bride’s home, followed by a second ceremony at the groom’s home. However, modern couples sometimes opt for a combined ceremony, simplifying the process.
The guest list typically includes:
- Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, elder siblings etc.
The sequence of serving tea is determined by seniority, usually parents or grandparents going first.
Complete Guide to the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
Let’s break down the steps of the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony:
- 2-3 Months before – Preparation for the wedding tea ceremony
- 2-3 Weeks before – Final preparation for the tea ceremony
- 1-2 Hours before – Morning preparations
- Wedding Day – During the tea ceremony
2-3 Months Before Wedding Day – Preparations For The Wedding Tea Ceremony
- Select the Perfect Date: Months before your wedding, pick a date and time that resonate with tradition and harmony. It’s not just a formality; it sets the stage for a lifetime of happiness.
- Wedding Tea Ceremony Invitations: Compile a guest list and send out tea ceremony invitation. Ensure RSVPs for better planning.
- Tea Ceremony Venue: Typically the groom’s and bride’s home. Ensure it’s a welcoming, tranquil space for the occasion. It can also be held in Chinese restaurant, banquet hall for a combined ceremony.
- Chinese Wedding Tea Set: Tea set comes with a teapot, four tea cups and one serving tray. They are red in color and beautifully crafted with double happiness symbol. You can also purchase disposable red paper cups for convenience if you have many guests.
- Kneeling Pad Or Cushion: Since you will kneel down to serve tea to your guests, your knees will thank you if you have prepared a thick kneeling pad or cushion for the day.
- Traditional Chinese Wedding Dress: Traditional attire adds a touch of grandeur. Brides often wear red Qun Kua or Qipaos as a symbol of luck and happiness. Grooms wear Tang suit to honor family tradition too.
- Wedding Red Envelopes And Gold Jewelry: Red envelopes, or “hongbao” are given along with gold jewelry by parents and elders after drinking tea to bless the new couple.
1-2 Weeks Before Wedding Day – Final Preparations For Hosting the Tea Ceremony on the Wedding Day
- Prepare Tea Leaves and Ingredients: Tea like Pu Er can be used. Other ingredients like red date and lotus seeds also need to be prepared as they will be put into each tea cup that is served to the guests.
- Coordinate With Your Bridesmaids: Discussion with your bridesmaids is needed to facilitate the flow of the ceremony.
- Wedding Dress Fitting: Two days before, ensure your traditional attire fits flawlessly. It’s a dress rehearsal for your big day.
- Decorate Your Home: Clean and adorn your home. Decorate the windows and doors with red and gold double happiness signs to create an auspicious and joyful atmosphere for wedding.
- Practice Makes Perfect: Review the ceremonial gestures, especially the graceful art of kneeling and serving tea.
The Wedding Day – Morning Preparations
- Decorate The Venue: If you host the ceremony in places rather than your homes, you may ask your bridesmaids and groomsmen to touch up the venue for you. Wedding tea ceremony decoration like welcome sign, wedding backdrop are some nice decorations for the day.
- Prepare The Tea: Make sure it is enough for all your guests
- One Final Run-through: Walk through the ceremony one last time.
During the Wedding Tea Ceremony
Each guest should receive two cups of tea, served by both the bride and groom.
Bridesmaids often play an essential role in facilitating the tea ceremony. They assist by:
- Preparing the tea
- Holding trays with teacups
- Filling tea and Passing tea cups to bride and groom
- Helping the bride wear gold jewelry like bangles and necklace given by guests
- Ensuring all gifts are received and stored properly
During the traditional Chinese wedding tea ceremony, the sequence of serving tea to bride and groom’s family is crucial and should arranged in the order of seniority.
Wedding Tea Ceremony Sequence
1. First Serve Tea to Parents Or Grandparents
Symbolizing respect and gratitude.
As you serve tea to the most senior elders, your grandparents or parents, remember, this act symbolizes your profound respect for their guidance and the foundation they’ve laid.
2. Uncles and Aunties
Symbolizing reverence to extended family.
After the elders, it’s time for uncles and aunties. Include both sides of the family to show reverence for your extended clan.
3. Elder Siblings
Symbolizing unity within families.
Serving elder siblings signifies unity within your own families. It’s a beautiful reminder of the bonds you share.
4. Elder Cousins (if present)
Symbolizing special bonds.
If elder cousins are present, this is your moment to show appreciation for their support throughout your lives.
Seating Arrangements
Proper seating arrangements are essential during the tea ceremony.
- The groom kneels on the left; the bride kneels on the right.
- The male guest sits facing the groom; the female guest sits facing the bride.
The relative being served the tea sits facing the respective bride or groom. This arrangement allows for a smooth and respectful flow during the ceremony.
Following the olden Chinese tradition man on the left and woman on the right “男左女右”, seating arrangement need to follow the same as well.
Words of Blessing
Throughout the tea ceremony, it is customary for the guests to offer words of blessing to the couple after drinking tea.
These are some traditional Chinese wedding wishes:
- 百年好合 (bǎi nián hǎo hé): Signifying a harmonious union lasting a hundred years.
- 永浴爱河 (yǒng yù ài hé): Expressing eternal love for one another.
- 早生贵子 (zao sheng gui zi): Wishing the couple to have a child soon.
- 白头偕老 (bai tou xie lao): Blessing for the couple to have a long and happy life together.
- 心心相印 (xin xin xiang yin): Signifying unity and understanding between the couple.
The Gift of Red Envelopes (Hong Bao/ Lai See/ Ang bao)
As the couple serves tea to each relative or guest, they receive red envelopes in return.
These envelopes typically contain money, symbolizing blessings, good wishes, and prosperity for the newlyweds’ future.
How much money do Parents give at a Chinese tea ceremony?
The amount of money in the red envelopes can vary but is often given in even numbers, which are considered lucky in Chinese culture.
Gifts of red envelopes with money that can widely ranges from 50 to 500 USD.
Gifts for the Couple
Besides red envelopes, elders may also present the couple with gold jewelry, further enhancing the symbolism of prosperity and well-wishes for the newlyweds.
These gifts are cherished keepsakes from the wedding day.
Preparing the Tea for the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
The type and taste of tea hold significance. Sweet tea is commonly used as it symbolizes happiness in the newlyweds’ marriage and fosters good relations with their in-laws. Here are the key ingredients:
- Red Dates (红枣 – Hong Zao): Symbolizes the enduring sweetness of the couple’s marriage.
- Lotus Seeds (莲子 – Lian Zhi): Symbolizes the blessing of bearing many children.
When combined, these ingredients symbolizes “早生贵子” (Zǎoshēng guìzǐ), meaning to have children early.
Chinese Tea Ceremony Script
An emcee or host plays a crucial role in facilitating the ceremony, especially for guests unfamiliar with the tradition. The script should be bilingual, catering to both English and Chinese-speaking attendees.
Here’s a simple script excerpt:
Host: “Dearest Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to (groom’s name) and (bride’s name) wedding tea ceremony. I am (your name), (groom’s name)’s aunt and I will be the host for today’s tea ceremony. Before we begin, I just want to represent (groom’s name) and (bride’s name) to really thank you all for taking out your precious time to come for their wedding tea ceremony. Each and every one of you played an important role in the couple’s life, and they really appreciate having you all down here today.”
Etiquettes During Tea Ceremony
When serving tea, it is customary for the couple to offer the teacup with both hands as a sign of respect. Guests are encouraged to accept the tea with both hands as well.
Proper etiquette is essential during the tea ceremony:
- The groom kneels on the left, and the bride on the right.
- The male relative sits facing the groom, and the female relative faces the bride.
- Kneeling in front of elders is customary, but bowing is also acceptable.
- The tea should be served with two hands as a sign of respect.
- Saucers should be held, as the teacup might be hot, and cups should only be 70% filled to prevent spills.
The act of serving tea is accompanied by a polite phrase such as “[Family member’s name], please have some tea.”
- “Grandpa, please have some tea.”
- “Grandma, please have some tea.”
- “Father-in-Law, please have some tea.”
- “Mother-in-Law, please have some tea.”
- “Elder Brother, please have some tea.”
- “Elder Sister, please have some tea.”
- Etc…
This phrase is spoken with sincerity and respect, underscoring the significance of the moment.
After drinking the tea, guests offer red envelopes with money and speak words of blessing to the couple. This process continues until all relatives have been served.
How Long Should the Tea Ceremony Last?
Typically, the ceremony takes 1-2 hours, including travel time between the groom’s and bride’s homes.
However, modern couples may opt for a shorter ceremony, combining both sides of the family at a single venue.
Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony is Not Just a Tradition But a Custom of Love
The Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony is a cherished tradition that beautifully blends love, respect, and gratitude. It’s a moment of unity between the couple and their families, symbolizing the beginning of their new lives together.
In today’s multicultural world, this ceremony is a testament to the enduring power of tradition and love.
So, as you plan your wedding day, consider embracing this beautiful custom. The act of serving tea can be a bridge between generations, a gesture of appreciation, and a symbol of the enduring bonds that marriage brings.
In every cup of tea, you’ll find not just a beverage but a story of love, tradition, and family.
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