16 Beautiful Chinese Wedding Traditions and Customs For the Perfect Modern Wedding
Chinese wedding tradition is not only a union between the groom and the bride, but a union of two families.
From seeking parental blessings to the completion of wedding, each step of the journey to marriage carries meaningful significance in the Chinese culture.
Deeply rooted in Chinese tradition and family heritage, Chinese wedding ceremonies are perfect ways to celebrate your marriage and to start the new chapter of your life.
Chinese Wedding Customs and Traditions
The followings are the 16 beautiful traditional Chinese wedding customs that you don’t want to miss out.
They will truly elevate the richness of your wedding and bring you a more blissful marriage.
1. Asking for Hand in Marriage
Before the start of wedding preparation, the groom and his parents visit the bride’s family to formally request her hand in marriage.
Usually the groom’s family brings along simple gifts, for example cakes and fruit baskets, to show their sincerity. The bride’s parents then evaluates if the groom is suitable for their daughter.
The main purpose of this event is to obtain approval from both families about the wedding and to introduce the parents of both families to each other.
Details of the wedding, for example wedding date, wedding venue, style, can be discussed later.
Fun Fact: In the olden times of the traditional Chinese culture, marriage is always arranged by parents. However today, marriage is born through love and mutual understanding.
2. Choosing an Auspicious Wedding Date
Choosing an auspicious wedding date is important to ensure harmony, luck, and prosperity in Chinese couple’s marriage.
The traditional way is to consult a Feng Shui master for picking an auspicious date that is good for both families.
Names, dates and time of birth of the groom and the bride are considered when picking the date.
In modern days, to simplify the process, couple can refer to Chinese calendar, known as Tung Shing, to pick a date that is suitable for wedding.
3. Chinese Betrothal Ceremony
The Chinese betrothal ceremony, also known as Guo Da Li, is an important Chinese tradition symbolizing the engagement and the approval from both families.
Traditionally, the couple can only send out wedding invitations and get married after betrothal ceremony, which happens 1-2 months before the wedding.
During the ceremony, groom’s family presents betrothal gifts to the bride’s family. Gifts presented include
- Gold Jewelry
- Chinese wedding cakes
- Fruit baskets
- Dried seafood
- Red envelopes
4. Return of Gifts
After betrothal ceremony, bride’s family reciprocates with gifts as a gesture of courtesy.
They may return half of the gifts presented by groom’s family including Chinese wedding cakes, fruits, dried seafood and red envelopes.
5. Sending Out Wedding Invitations
Wedding invitations are traditionally sent out after betrothal ceremony to invite their important ones to join wedding celebration.
The cards are often in red color with double happiness symbol printed to symbolize harmonious union and happy celebration.
Traditional Chinese auspicious elements can also be added to the invitations, like flower patterns, dragon, phoenix and Chinese knot etc. to symbolize luck, prosperity and fertility.
6. Preparing the Dowry
Dowry is the gifts and wealth prepared by the bride’s family to represent their love and care to their daughter.
It has to be ready the latest 1-2 days before wedding.
The bride will bring dowry to the groom’s family for supporting her new life after the wedding.
Ranging from clothing, jewelry, household items to cash, dowry reflects the bride’s upbringing and how wealthy her family is.
In the olden times, the idea about the dowry is, “the more generous the dowry, the less likely the bride will be belittled in the groom’s family“.
But nowadays, it is just a part of the tradition and a way of showing blessing and love for the couple.
7. Preparing the Marriage Bed
The decoration of the wedding bed and bedroom with red bedding and auspicious symbols is done 1 day before the wedding to ward off evil spirits and to bless the couple with many kids.
This is done by one of the female elders in the family, preferably the lady of good fortune, meaning the lady that has a complete family and blissful marriage.
Young kids will also be invited to jump on the newlywed’s bed as it is believed to bring kids to the married couple.
8. Hair Combing Ceremony
On the eve of the wedding day, the bride and groom undergo hair combing ceremony in their own home, which symbolizes entering into adulthood and everlasting marriage.
- Starts with taking a bath using pomelo leaves to ward off evil spirits.
- Then the lady of good fortune performs the ceremony by combing their hair ten times in a carefully chosen auspicious timing.
- Each time of combing carries a different meaning,
The combing ceremony offers blessing for the couple with longevity, happiness, prosperity, wealth and harmony.
The ritual ends with eating sweet dumplings meaning completeness and family reunion.
9. Picking Up the Bride
During the morning of the wedding day, the groom and his groomsmen travel to the bride’s home to pick up the bride.
The bride is well dressed in Chinese Bridal Wedding Dress or “Kua” to wait for being picked up. The groom needs to go through a gatecrash and complete the door games set up by bridesmaids before meeting the bride.
The idea behind these games are to test the groom’s sincerity, love and determination to marry the bride.
Giving red packets of lucky amounts to bridesmaids also helps to show sincerity. Once the groom passes the tests, parents will bring the bride out and give her to the groom.
10. Departure from the Bride’s Home
Upon meeting the groom, the bride expresses her gratitude to her family and departs from her home under well wishes.
- Depending on family tradition, the couple may need to worship their ancestors.
- After that, they depart at an auspicious time to ensure good luck.
- Along the way to groom’s home, maid of honor or Chinese wedding chaperone opens up the red umbrella to shelter and escort the bride. Rice grains, red beans and green beans are also scattered to the umbrella.
In ancient Chinese legend, red umbrella protected the bride from evil spirits, while rice grains and beans were used to feed the “gold chicken” so that they did not harm the bride.
This tradition is still widely used by Chinese couples in weddings nowadays.
11. Arriving at the Groom’s Home
As the bride arrives at the groom’s home, she officially becomes a member of the groom’s family.
Upon arrival, the bride greets the groom’s parents to show her politeness.
Again, depends on family tradition; the couple may need to worship their ancestors.
After that, the bride stays at groom’s home to have lunch to symbolize joining the new family.
12. Chinese Tea Ceremony
Chinese tea ceremony is a beautiful expression of respect and gratitude to parents and elders of both families.
It may take place in the morning at both families’ homes or during wedding reception.
The couple kneels down and serves tea to their parents and elders.
Using a traditional Chinese tea set, red or black tea is served to the elders. In return, elders give gold jewelry and red packets to the couple to bless their marriage.
In modern Chinese wedding, bridesmaids help prepare the tea and Chinese wedding chaperone says auspicious phrases to brighten up the atmosphere of the ceremony.
13. Wedding Ceremony
Nowadays, wedding ceremony can take place at a hotel banquet hall or Chinese restaurant.
The wedding venue is beautifully decorated with double happiness symbols and traditional red Chinese elements like dragon and flowers.
Some couples may keep the traditions and rituals of bowing to pay respects to heaven and earth, to their parents, and to each other in the ceremony.
However, more commonly, most Chinese wedding only go for modern western wedding solemnization and vows exchange.
14. Wedding Banquet
Following the wedding ceremony, Chinese wedding banquet continues to celebrate the couple’s union. It usually contains eight to ten course meal and each dish is given an auspicious name to bless the marriage.
The banquet is not only the time for guests to enjoy the meal, but also the time for the couple to share their happiness as newlywed with guests.
To further elevate the wedding, lion dance team can be hired, or may include games in the banquet.
15. Cross-Cupped Wine Ceremony
Cross-cupped wine ceremony can take place during the wedding ceremony or at the end of the banquet.
Newlywed couple each holds a cup and drink from it with their cup-holding arms crossed.
In the olden days, this happened at wedding night to symbolize the groom and bride uniting into one.
16. Return to the Bride’s Home
Three days after the wedding, the newlywed couple returns to bride’s home with roasted pig, gifts and red packets.
This is a tradition for the bride to show her well being to her parents after wedding. The visit is also a chance to strengthen the connection between both families.
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